Contentment & Comparison

Hi friends! I want to share what the Holy Spirit has been convicting me of lately, which is discontentment. I actually wasn't even aware that discontentment was at the root of quite a few of my feelings and struggles until recently, but now that I am, God keeps bringing it to my mind. When I can't get something off my mind, I know that's him nudging me to write about it!

I'm blessed to belong to the sweetest college small group and, a few weeks ago, we were discussing our pastor's latest sermon about anxiety and depression. At one point in the message, he connected anxiety to living too much in the future and depression as living too much in the past. I struggle with both, so I asked one of my leaders why I tend to dwell in any tense other than the present. I explained that I find myself thinking too much about either the past or the future, but rarely about what is currently going on around me. She told me straightforwardly that this was due to a lack of contentment with my current life. I paused and thought about it. She was right.

Then last week, I was reading a commentary, Treasury of David, by Charles Spurgeon on Psalm 23 for a class assignment. As someone who has grown up in the church, I have heard and read this passage quite a few times, but I don't think it has ever resonated with me in a way that was particularly memorable. The first verse reads, "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want," and the last sentence of the fifth verse says, "My cup overflows," (ESV). Upon reading these words, I thought, Yes, God is everything we could ever need and more. I know this truth in my heart, but applying it is where I fall short.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever," (Psalm 23:1-6, ESV).

It wasn't until Spurgeon pointed out that if someone is discontent, "his cup cannot run over; it is cracked and leaks," that the idea of contentment hit me again (1869). The reason I often feel like my cup is running low or even empty is not because someone isn't filling it. My Heavenly Father knows exactly what I need and he alone can sustain me. I have thoughtful friends and family who know how to make me feel loved. Rather, my cup is not full because it is cracked. The places where I lack contentment are the places where it leaks. I sat with this new imagery for a while.

"Consider the lilies, how they grow..." (Luke 12:27, ESV).

Since then, I have been asking God how to become not only content, but also overflowing with joy from his goodness. It's no coincidence that Luke 12:23-31 was the focal passage of this past weekend's sermon at church. God answered my prayer with clarity---- gratitude.

"And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you," (Luke 12:29-31, ESV).

It sounds so simple, but clearly it's difficult for me (and I don't think I'm the only one). Instead of focusing on what I think I lack, I should focus on what God has already given me. Even when I don't feel grateful, I need to look around and recognize the blessings God pours out on me each and every day.

I think I know why gratitude is challenging, and that because I often fall prey to comparison. C.S. Lewis, among others, is attributed with the saying, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and I would say that's pretty spot--on. It's nearly impossible to be thankful and content when I am constantly looking around at what others have. Social media amplifies this struggle because, although it's only a highlight reel, it tricks us into thinking there are people out there with perfect lives. The truth is that we aren't supposed to be the same or have the same things as others. God made us all unique and has a different plan for each one of us.

It's all too easy to experience anxiety and apathy, which stem from discontentment. However, this is made more difficult if we are intentionally searching for what we don't have or dwelling on our feelings of discontentment. I want to encourage you to be mindful of when you feel discontent and rather than continuing in that mindset, to immediately fight it with gratitude. Take note of the areas in which you find yourself the least content. Personally, I recognize that my discontentment typically centers around my abilities and achievements, as well as where my plan for my life has not come to fulfillment (even though I ultimately and exclusively want God's plan for my life). After identifying, consciously make it a point to name things in these areas you are thankful for. Soon enough, it will become second nature.

I've been praying that God would fix my heart on him and be joyful, rather than comparing myself with others and listening to the voice of the enemy stirring up discontentment. Again, I'm someone who spends too much time in the past and this often leads to apathy, but upon looking back I also see God's hand and his blessings. I pray that you can also recognize his goodness in your life and express gratitude to him for it.

Let us realize that God alone is not only enough, but more than enough. Until we realize this, we will always be discontent. Our hearts were made for him, so why are we searching for satisfaction in earthly things that will only disappoint us? Only God is unfailing and eternally good. When we make gratitude a habit, we will progress from discontentment to contentment to joy!